In our society, we don't recognize those who aren't mothers and while we are getting better at being sensitive to women who aren't mothers we don't show appreciation for them. There are a few people who I consider my "other" mothers who have given me wisdom, guided me and loved me. I think it's important to appreciate them and let them know who they are. They may or may not have children of their own, but it doesn't matter to me. They just need to know how important their role is to me.
Something that has been bothering me was a comment made to me by a nurse, which was not intentional on her part. She wasn't trying to be rude. She was talking about a particular procedure and said I had no good options because they don't recommend it for an individual who is my age, who hasn't had children, or it still considering children. I became a puddle of tears after that phone call when I processed the conversation at home. Conversations like this, break my heart, of course, I wish to become a mom. It put me in an awful mood and again reminded me of what I didn't have and what was out of our control. I am reminded we have no control of our lives and whatever might be your hard isn't my hard. We all have difficult things in our lives that make it harder for us than others. I struggle at times with not having kids, and this conversation rubbed me wrong that day.
One of my sweet friends texted me and said: "she knew this day was hard for me, and she was thinking of me." She was referring to Mothers Day, and just that simple text was great because I knew someone understood the day had a particular longing for me. I am not the only one who has this particular longing in their soul. I know many others do too, and I have to remember to tell myself "It is well with my soul." No matter how it happens, it is well, and well with my soul. I have to trust something is better, it is planned, and it will come. I will tell you that it doesn't always feel well with my soul, and I think that is okay.
If there are caregivers in your life, friends who are not mothers, yet longing to be, go the extra mile to show them that you appreciate them. Our world won't do it, but when women build each other up, it brings this amazing, abundant life. Maybe you have a friend who loves kids or mothers several handfuls of friends and families' children as if they were her own, how do you appreciate those amazing women in your life that mother in their unique way? My challenge for myself and others, let's just go the extra step.
Happy Belated Mother's Day to those who long to be Mommies, who are care for children well, are caregivers, who are Mothers for the first time and for those who have been carrying the torch for years in Motherhood.