Thursday, June 26, 2014

The Highs and lies of weight loss

I read a post by Mindy and I told her I would respond. Mindy is trying to lose weight to hit her 100 pound weight loss goal, which means she would need to be 133, I told her I wanted to respond, but knowing my  comment would turn into a post.

I've been on a weight loss journey that has had many highs and lies. It hasn't been easy, it hasn't been fun and sometimes it's been AMAZING.

Let's Start with the Lies: 
- Every pound you lose, no matter the goal, can you leave you craving to drop more and more. It can become an addiction if you let it. Trust me, it gets frustrating weighing in weekly.. However, I'm happy and not planning on really dropping. If I hit 135, I'd be super happy, but the goal is to be under 140.

-  "You'll be happier"
Wow, that's temporary. Sure, it's great to lose weight, I feel better about myself , but it has brought on an insecurity I've never had before. Now instead of clothes being too small, I have to worry if they look like a bag on me.. Who wants to live like that?

-"You'll start living more"
I had more energy when I was heavier, because I was bulked with muscle and didn't have so much doubt . I'm slowly gaining my confidence back. Darn NAYSAYERS!

- "You'll be more confident"
That's temporary because everyone starts immediately criticizing you for an eating disorder the moment you skip a meal, pass on dessert or forgo seconds. I can't tell you how many people have asked me if I was okay. This keeps sending me the message "I'm not okay."

 - "You're doing this for your health"
So many people have asked if I'm sick. Uh, no. Last I checked according to the BMI, I'm still 6 pounds overweight because of my height people. Shush! Again, hitting the insecurity button!

- "If you're smaller, everything you try on will fit." 
Lie. Clothes fit, but they look so dumb. I get so frustrated. I basically have to look at teens or be prepared to spend $70 bucks on a shirt to fit right.. Ridic. Not always, but seems lately.

These are the mental lies I've had to overcome and continue to overcome since my journey from 160 lbs to 137. 

The Highs: Joyful Moments

1)Buying my first pair of shorts in a size 6, was glorious. I was a size 5 in the seventh grade. I've never been that size.

2) Looking in the mirror and seeing a flat stomach.

3) Going to the beach in a two piece bikini and feeling semi-confident for the first time.

4) Taking my wardrobe and putting it in a plastic container in exchange for a new one at the mall.

5) Going into any store and picking any shirt, dress and knowing it will fit, but will it look good is always the question?

6) The compliments from friends and relatives who haven't seen me in a while, well, that's always a good confidence booster, as long as they are kind.

My final thoughts: 
As I've started my weight loss journey near 160 and am currently 137, I can honestly say it has brought on and off layers of emotions that I didn't know were there. From the naysers to the cheerleaders, I have had to find my place and overcome. Anyone can lose weight, but be prepared to do the mental battle because people are the ones who have hung me up in bondage instead of propelling me forward towards my goals. The funny thing, I'm still 6pounds overweight. Mindy, I'm cheering you on, girl! You got this! Don't self sabotage, and don't let anyone stand in your way, but be prepared and be ready to cut out these thoughts and people away from your life for awhile until you get your head in the game! You've got this!
Go girl!


Lisa said...

I lost 110 pounds and have kept it off for almost 6 years. I agree with this!! No one ever talks about the emotional toll massive weight loss takes on someone...there aren't books or anything out there to help you figure out how to feel after losing the weight and realizing that it WASN'T the fix-all for happiness...

Sarah said...

Lisa, it is so true! Thanks for your words of wisdom and encouragement! Congrats on your weight loss! It is such a battle and I'm glad to know that I'm not in this alone.. :) Thanks for stopping by!