Thursday, May 30, 2013


Trying to remain positive during a difficult time can be really hard. I'm usually this bubbly, fun loving, girl. Lately, it has been tremendously hard to keep that positive attitude.

Monday, I stepped out of my comfort zone and started a pre-screener application for a service dog. I have always been afraid of peoples opinions, but after having so many seizures last week, staying alive became more important than peoples opinions. Safety was at the forefront of my mind. I applied through an organization called "Paws for a Cause" for a seizure service dog.  I was really excited and was proud of my willingness to take a step, all to find out Tuesday morning that I was DENIED! 
Since, I don't have a pattern of seizures every single month, they aren't even willing to consider me.. So, basically I need be worse before I can be better.. Trying to be preventive isn't highly recommended, i guess.
  I get that their reasoning because on some level they want their client to have a serious need.. On another level, the dog costs $30,000, which I am willing to fund raise and pay for, if they are willing to accept me through their application process.

 On Tuesday, my insurance company denied me for a new medication. Basically, my doctors office had to fight them on it, which took two days and today I go to purchase the new script, it costs $70 for one month.. What a joke! This stuff is seriously expensive. At some point you're asking me to choose between groceries and medication.... However, the alternative isn't great either.

I think the hardest part about all this is... 

I was free and clear for 1 year.
I had this assurance that this was over..
I felt secure and safe again.
I finished a marathon..
I was feel confident..


I'm scared.
Afraid of not being able to complete #double dare
Fearful of losing everything...

In all of this, I'm trying to remain hopeful, positive and strong. I believe in every situation, we find a purpose and I'm hoping that in some way, this will make me a better person.. I'm supposed to learn something.. Things have never been easy for me, so somehow this is going to teach me..


Question: How do you handle life's challenges? What are your coping skills??




Britt said...

Oooh Sarah that sucks!!! I'm sorry you had such a bad week last week! Not cool!

Sarah said...

It will get better, it always does!

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry you were denied! I had no idea there was such a strict application process. The cost of the meds is brutal. I have a theory that short weeks are the worst! Although it doesn't help, remember you DID run a marathon and it was HARD. You've got the gumption - sending positive thoughts!