Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Risk and Failure

Ever since I can remember, I have always been a risk taker.. Who else jumps out of a plane?

Travels to South Africa...

Gets a Masters Degree at the age of 24:

Runs a Marathon on a UTI with a dose of Epilepsy

A risk taker, THAT'S WHO!

If you really knew me, if you knew my heart, you would know that on the outside I look big and tough, but on the inside, I am just baby.

I cry all the time when I watch Hallmark movies! I'm a huge sap! 

I become a big mess when I read a heart wrenching novel.

I love kids more than anything. I have dreams of being a mom. (That scares the crap out of me)

When it comes to risk taking, I have no problem climbing the biggest or trying the next best thing, but when it comes to sharing my heart, sometimes the risk is too big.  This week, Holley Gerth has asked us to share our fears or risk taking moments when it comes to our God Size dreams.

My two biggest risk taking fears are that people won't like me and the mirror doesn't reflect an image that makes me feel beautiful. If I were to sit down with you over coffee and we were to get to the bottom of my issues, I would tell you that I struggle with my self-esteem and that I am fearful of people knowing the real me. I don't want people to know my story, I don't want them to feel sorry for me and I certainly don't want them to see the real me.

As I think of my fears, I struggle with sharing who I am as it pertains to my God Size dream. I don't want to be judged, I want people to like me...

God-Sized Button

The lie: If I truly believed that the Lord of the Universe cares about me, knows the number of hairs on my head and has called me by name, who cares what others think?

Who care if other people like me?

Who care if people judge my story?

But the truth, I still care..  It's hard to stuff that in your pocket and move on.. Where do I go from here? I just need to keep challenging myself and putting myself out there.. People need to know my story, not for me, but for him.. He is the reason..  I didn't ask to share my heart with the world.

As I step out in faith and begin to write my story, will you join me in prayer to understand that I was created uniquely and that I have a story that only he could write ! It is his story, not mine. He has never left me in the past, why shouldn't I trust him now? 

Where have you had to step out and take a risk? 

1 comment:

Britt said...

Sarah - I am starting a risk myself! I'm going to be leading the new bunch of Seminary wives! I feel way under qualified. I met to of them last night and although they both seemed around my age, one had 4 kids; her oldest being 11, her youngest being 2. The other had 2 kids. Out of the other 5 women, I know one of them has 5 kids, 2 are pregnant and 1 doesn't have any kids but is significantly older (I think) and I don't know anything about. Talk about scary though, what do I know? They're further along in life and I'm going to be leading them??????