Sunday, September 4, 2011


The word to describe the large pit in my stomach.
The word that describes the scrambling that happens in my brain when things don't work out the way I plan.
The word the describes the sweating palms and wringing of my hands.

I am nervous for a lot of things. I am nervous about the Ultrasound I had done on my thyroid Friday. I am anxiously awaiting the results. 

Nervous: I am not ready to start back to school when I don't feel right. I dont feel healthy. I feel sick, all the time. I mentally try to get myself prepare myself in the hopes that this is all very mentally, but I am equally aware that it isn't mental. Something is wrong. Even on meds, something doesn't feel right. I dont want to feel this way forever... I pray a lot... God will heal me whether in this life time or in the next, he will heal me, but when will the healing happen? Sigh..

Trust. I must trust him. Even in the transition of life, we serve a God who is unchanging. He will walk with me no matter how big or small the transition, but the pit in my stomach is still nervous...

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