Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Storm's Worry

I probably worry a lot more than one should.. I am a big worry wart.. Why? I don't know.. I think it has gotten worse, as I have gotten older.... 


When we were in Disney, I bought a bracelet that said " Don't even Tink about It." This bracelet is a constant reminder not to worry so much... I lose sleep over worrying.. I know what the Bible says about worrying, but I have a hard time stopping my racing thoughts.. Are you a worrier? 


You might ask "What are you so worried about?" My response:  I am worried about the job interview I had today. While it wasn't the worst interview, I feel very much on the fence about how I interviewed. I couldn't have done anything to prepare myself, I know that if its right, than God will work out the details. At the same time, I don't know that it is a right fit for me either. I pray that God will direct the steps of this because for the first time I don't have a gut feeling or intuition that will help direct my mind... 


Now that I have that off my chest..... I have one more item of business and then maybe I can join my snoring husband and get some sleep........




As you may have found out... the MRI was completely NORMAL!!!   Great!!! However, it doesn't entirely explain the seizures, however a family member has come forward and has explained to me that two of the woman in my family have had seizures directly relating to hormonal shifts, birth control and menstruation. (Sorry guys!! Gotta get it off my mind)..  In females, one can have permanent brain irritation due to birth control pills because of the hormonal shift that occurs.... Luckily for me, I am stopping my birth control pills, without my doctors consent, which I may get in trouble, may not.. Not sure... 


However, I had a cyst on one of my ovaries, so the birth control was supposed to reduce that problem. Tomorrow (Wed), I go in for anther pelvic ultrasound (so uncomfortable) to see if the cyst has gotten smaller or I will have to get it removed.. Most women continue to develop these unless they have their ovaries or are no longer ovulating... 


After all this thinking.. I wonder if the seizures are a direct result of the ovarian cysts or a direct result of too much or too little estrogen or a huge shift in my hormones? If this is a the case or would be the case for the rest of my life, would it better to get rid of my female organs???  Stop the hormones??? You have hormone shifts for most of your life.. .Till like 50??? Worry wart me says... Who has the answers to this??
According to my Aunt, I need to go to Mayo Clinic and be completely looked at... Sigh..... 


Just some thoughts... I need to get my worrying done... Now, I might be able to sleep..

2 comments:

Erin said...

Oh man...that's a lot on your plate. At least your aunt was able to give some ideas to why it's all happening.

While my experiences are very different, I get the worry over cycle stuff. Things aren't exactly normal for me either and I do worry about it.

But don't forget, in your worry, that we don't fight against flesh and blood, but powers/principalities of evil. The worry is the enemy's way of keeping you from trusting in the One who made you. I don't mean to be "preachy"...it's just stuff I have to remind myself of with all this too.

The Lord knows you. He knows your worries, He knows your fears, He know what's messed up with your body. He knows. And He loves you and cares for you more than the birds of the air.

Praying with you dear.

The Heart of the Matter said...

Erin,
I don't think you are preachy at all.. That is a great reminder and I have forgotten that because I have been so involved with worrying that I forget who is the ultimate healer.. UGH... I am not perfect, so I can't be mad at myself, sometimes it's easier to take on the worry and not give it to God, which seems so backwards.. Thanks for the love and prayer friend!