Thursday, July 21, 2011

Storm's Mixed Emotions

This afternoon I feel a bunch of mixed emotions. First, I found out that I did not get the School Social Worker job at Wayland Union Schools. While initially I fell disappointed, frustrated and upset, I also feel relieved.


These mixed emotions come from this huge emotion pool that I have been dealing with... I am disappointed because as Drew and I try to move forward in paying off our student loans, we can't pay them off as quickly as we could if I made more money. Unfortunately, Drew's salary won't be increasing anytime soon, so the pressure is on for me to find a job that pays more money. Now, I don't want to sound ungrateful or that I am complaining. Let me say, I am completely grateful for my job and my husbands... We both are so thankful to have jobs! However, we both would feel the weight of debt leave us if we could pay them off quicker.. We are doing the best we can, with what we have.. 


In some way, I am relieved I did not get the school social worker job because I love the people I work with. I love the kids I work with and I am invested into the district I serve. While I do not get benefits and do not make a high wage, I love where I work. I also love that they have been the people who have been so supportive during this medical mess of my life. It is nice that I do not need to start over and that I have such supportive people in my district who care about me.. Or at least I think they do......


Also, I am highly thankful and able to say the ovarian cyst that they found, did burst.... Which is great, but explains a lot of my pain last month. I am praying and hoping nothing returns, especially since I am not on birth control anymore...


Thanks for all the prayers, well wishes and support... I have just needed it so badly during this hard time.

2 comments:

Britt said...

Sarah, I know how you feel. Nick and I have soo much to pay off in loans, and we're doing our best, but neither of us make a lot of money. I've interviewed for a couple jobs and applied for many more and it just sucks when you feel like you're not putting a dent in them. I also HATE seeing when other's pay off their loans and we are still forever away from that!

The Heart of the Matter said...

Britt, while I am thankful for not being the only couple with student loan debt, I am also filled with sorrow as you experience the weight debt brings. It is frustrating, but nice to hear we are not the only couple who struggles with this feeling... We are forever away too. Between Drew and I, we have 11years worth of school loan debt..