Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Fairytale meets Storms

If I open my heart, could I go there with you?

GRIEVING: to mourn, to hurt, to feel sorrow, the normal response to a loss..

Can I go there with you?
The normal process of reacting both internally and externally to the perception of loss. The psychological, behavioral, social and physical reactions to loss of something or someone that is closely tied to a person’s identity. My current grieving coping mechanisms, behaviors, ect.

Current Physical Reactions:

Hyperactive, chest pains, headaches, nausea, abdominal pains, change in appetite, weight change, constant fatigue, sleepless nights, restlessness, crying, and feelings of emptiness.

Current Emotional Reactions: Sadness, Numbness, Anger, Fear, Resentment, Irritability, Anxiety, Loneliness and meaningless.

Current Social Reactions: Overly Sensitive, completely withdrawn, avoid others or social situations, lack of interest or initiative in things.

Current Behavioral Reactions: Forgetfulness (All the time, I cant remember anything) and slowed thinking.

I am in the process of grieving a very special day that was ruined by people’s hurtful words, actions, thoughts and deeds. I have a lot of anger and bitterness stored in my soul. The one day where things are supposed to be happy, is ruined with peoples mean words and actions.

Some might wonder how one could grieve this? As a little girl, teenager and young adult, every girls dreams of her wedding day.. She dreams of how things will look, the type of dress, who will be in the wedding, how her groom will look at her, what kind on in-laws, will she love his family, the wedding hair up-do, the beautiful church and most importantly.. walking down with her dad..


I want a re-do.. I want people who want to be there and people who have rude comments and opinions to stay at home.. They are not welcomed.. I want people to shut their mouths and not say anything that would upset the bride, groom , especially the BRIDES MOTHER! You mess with her and you started a hurricane. People are so inconsiderate, I mean, really!  The stories I could tell people, they would never believe how insanely crazy planning this wedding was..

Who knew a wedding would bring some many apart, instead of close together.

Probably the two best memories of that special day: Walking down the aisle and laughing with dad. Smashing cake in Drew’s face.. What you don’t know is that I accidentally bite Drew’s finger.. HA! We smashed a lot of cake on the carpet too..

Best part, having my life long, best friends there!

Will post more wedding pictures when I get them!


Britt said...

Hmmm I'm so sorry it wasn't quite the fairytail you dreamed up but the end result can still be a fairytail, and I'm happy for you for that part.... I'm feeling pretty bummed out today too, so I'm slightly glad you're post wasn't all wonderfulnes either.... although I wish we never had to have bad days!

Sarah said...

So thankful for you! Sometimes, I just need to be real with people and I am glad you have the courage to be real too! Thankful for your blog post! Made me feel normal about my current situation too! You are not alone and I have contemplated ridding myself of facebook too... Maybe we should have a facebook fast together.. Go back to the old days of AIM?? LOL... I am sorry you had a bad day, but glad to know I am not alone! Love you friend!

Krystle said...

I am so sorry to read your big day wasn't what it SHOULD have been! Maybe you and Drew need to do a vow renewal with a Disney Destination wedding :)