Wednesday, August 25, 2010

When the world is falling out...

I only become emotional when..

*A huge transition is about to take place
* Someone in my family becomes hurt whether physically, emotionally, spiritually,ect
*Being super busy and everyday is filled with meaninglessness "tasks" to complete
* Financial Stress
* Not being able to spend quality time with Drew..


This week I have been emotionally wreck for the following:
* I was offered a position in school district working with Emotionally Impaired Students (HA the concidence in being emotional). Most people would be excited about this! I am excited, but fear of the unknown and signficant transition tend to stress me out! The older I get, the more I hate transition!  Applying for jobs, sending a thousand resumes and cover letters and then going through interview is enough stress, but apparently not enough for me. I was hired through a sub-contractor, which allows for the school not to have to offer benefits and such.. This is cheaper for the school.. (Wasnt told the details of this, until I accepted the offer) If you live in Michigan, you know that their are not many jobs in the area, especially schools.. To sum up the story, I had to go through a bunch of hoops to get this job because of all the crap I had to go through with the sub contractor company.. (Fingerprints, modules, 2hr meeting, numerous phone calls, ect) Very frustrating..


*  A huge transition is about to occur for me, which leaves me feeling uneasy, fearful, frustrated , ect. I will now be transitioning into a work schedule that does not comply with my husbands... very difficult.. Drew works evenings, so I will work all morning and the time I come home, he will just be leaving for work.. Frustrating.. I will only see him on the weekends and that could change... He might be moving positions at Wood some point in the near future. I am all for him moving on and upward, but I hate the work schedules we have.. Transition has not been one of my strongest things and now that we will be on odd work schedules gets me all worked up.. UGH! At the same time, I forget to be thankful that we live in the same place and in the same state.. It is hard to be grateful in these moments.


* This week, I have had something going on every day. Monday I had another interview, had to fill out the paper work for this job position, go through the modelues (which took five hours), schedule finger prints, be on the phone all day. Tuesday I babysat all day and then we celebrated my brothers birthday . Wednesday (today) I had to go this stupid PESG meeting about being a substitute teacher because of the sub-contractual company that hired me! Two hours of nothing relating to me! How wonderful! Thursday we need to meet with our new insurance agent to discuss the details of new insurance. Friday we are meeting someone for lunch. I want a free day! ahh! I hate when days are busy! I hate mundane "tasks" of life! I want it to always be a party and fun ( I KNOW.. NOT REALISTIC)...

Sorry for my complaints, but I just need to unleash it all.. I have been an emotional basket case, which is very unlike me.. .These topics have brought on a lot of tears this week.




Although everything has been chaos, my prayer life has been better. I feel like in the craziness of it all, God is directing each step. In the midist of the storms, he lifts me up. Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your heart before HIM; God is a refuge for us.

On another note, I am starting to read the Sierra Jensen collection! ( I have never read this collection.. Always been a Christy fan, but I am branching out now) I am on book one right now.. Will keep you posted!

2 comments:

ats360 said...

I know it's been a trying week (and the week isnt even over yet), but I am so thankful to know we're in it together. Everything might not be easy, but it helps put things at ease knowing we're at least on the same page. I love you!

林磊 said...
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