I've been struggling with what to say. The last couple of days have brought tremedous challenges and I have been struggling to hang in. My older brother has lost everything. His car, house, dog and other possesions have been taken due to his finacial situations. His credit is completely ruined and his life is hanging by a single thread.
Along with losing all of his poessions, he has lost his pride, dignity and manhood. I cannot begin to describe how hard it is to watch someone who you love and know, crumble to the ground. It is extremely sad and heart wrenching. I used to get in the boat and face my feelings, now I just watch the boat go by. I feel numb to all feelings.
I cannot bring myself to cry, nor to get upset.
I am numb.
I no longer process things.
I cannot get my feelings and I feel like no one gets it.
I have faith.
Where is God?
Why does he permit such suffering?
Why me? All the time..
The road is dark and I feel that I can no longer see...