Monday, August 4, 2008

My heart is all over the world today..

My heart has been all over the place lately. I have found myself thinking so much about the children in Africa. I hear their cries in my dreams and I find myself longing to return to the place where I felt love was so desperately needed. I thought going over there would "cure" my need to feel that I was doing something over there, but instead, it highlighted why I need to return there.

I feel that I cannot move on with my life. I am moving on with my life and doing other things, but it sits at the back of my mind every night. Emotionally, I have not been able to be here in America. I have seen so much poverty and famine that I cannot move on with life in my head. The urge to jump on a plane and go back hasn't left me. Most people have moved on with their life and have forgotten about the sights and sounds, but I havent.. I have a feeling that it hasnt gone away for a purpose. That purpose I am unsure of right now...

I get so frustrated when I hear people griping and complainning about trival things. I don't want to bring judgment or say that I am any better, but I have seen this different world where I had never heard a complaint.. It is just weird. .It is weird to be apart of a different society where life is so different and then to be thrown back here.. I dont know.. My head has a time sorting out all of the frustration I feel..

I feel like I have been lacking passion lately. The only inspiration for my degree is to know that I am going to use it.. People always tell me that poverty and famine is here in the United States and while I know it is here.. I just cant get over the poverty in Africa... It is hard to explain because people feel like we should be taking care of our own country, which I am all for, but people here are selfish and out for themselves and not the benefit of others.. I dont know..

I have this conversation in my head telling myself to get through the day and not think about what is going on there, but often I find my mind wandering to what the people are doing and how they are surviving. It has gotten bad.. UGH... I need a fix.... sighs.. That is all for this post folks..

2 comments:

wheels said...

Wow.... God has put that passion in u 4 a reason!!!:) Keep it strong!Ur concern 4 those people's well-being and souls is amazing! However, please don't miss the "Miricle of this moment!" One thing u can do is pray 4 them... I'm sure u r already! I'll pray for those people and u!
Take care Friend!

Erin said...

i hope you don't mind that I found your blog via andrea's dominican one...

i want you to know that I understand. I get that unquenchable desire to be in Africa...it's there for a reason, Sarah. I knew when i first met you that God called you there -- the way you talk about it, the way that it brings you life, your heart belongs there in one capacity or another. Don't try to stifle it...i hate beign in this culture, too...trivial things and the fast-pased, money focused way of life is death.

I love your passion, your heart, and you. know that I'm praying with you.

Erin