My heart has been all over the place lately. I have found myself thinking so much about the children in Africa. I hear their cries in my dreams and I find myself longing to return to the place where I felt love was so desperately needed. I thought going over there would "cure" my need to feel that I was doing something over there, but instead, it highlighted why I need to return there.
I feel that I cannot move on with my life. I am moving on with my life and doing other things, but it sits at the back of my mind every night. Emotionally, I have not been able to be here in America. I have seen so much poverty and famine that I cannot move on with life in my head. The urge to jump on a plane and go back hasn't left me. Most people have moved on with their life and have forgotten about the sights and sounds, but I havent.. I have a feeling that it hasnt gone away for a purpose. That purpose I am unsure of right now...
I get so frustrated when I hear people griping and complainning about trival things. I don't want to bring judgment or say that I am any better, but I have seen this different world where I had never heard a complaint.. It is just weird. .It is weird to be apart of a different society where life is so different and then to be thrown back here.. I dont know.. My head has a time sorting out all of the frustration I feel..
I feel like I have been lacking passion lately. The only inspiration for my degree is to know that I am going to use it.. People always tell me that poverty and famine is here in the United States and while I know it is here.. I just cant get over the poverty in Africa... It is hard to explain because people feel like we should be taking care of our own country, which I am all for, but people here are selfish and out for themselves and not the benefit of others.. I dont know..
I have this conversation in my head telling myself to get through the day and not think about what is going on there, but often I find my mind wandering to what the people are doing and how they are surviving. It has gotten bad.. UGH... I need a fix.... sighs.. That is all for this post folks..