Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Huge Long Update

Wow, I have sured missed blogging...

Flordia was okay. .Not the best trip in the world due to the weather, but we still had a great time.. Hurricane Faye did hit us, so that was adventure.. It wasnt super bad, but enough rain to cover a week... We did enjoy ourselves.

I started classes today, which are stressful.. I am ready to be done with my graduate degree... I just need to keep plugging along with it..

Drew and I are doing well.. We are talking about futuristic things.. Engagment, wedding and such.. We will see...

Last night I went over to Travis and Jamie's house for some WALLE!!! It was a lot of fun!! Love those guys a lot.. I am wanting and needing A) get in a Bible study and B) volunteerings/ getting a job.. It is getting old not having a job, but I know that God has his plan and will find me the right spot..

That is about all... I wanted to post a quick update and I will post pictures to follow when I return home from GVSU!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

It just seems to come from everywhere...

When things turn sour in my life, they turn bitter before they get sweet.. My family is always hit on every angle all at once.. We can never have just a small storm, but rather an shattering earth quake..

As I've mentioned our Aunt Mary passed this morning.. This week my brother is having many financial issues.. Many of you know that he suffers from Bipolar, which is a mental health disorder. Individuals with bipolar are no different then individuals who have their apendix explode. Individuals who's apendix explode are treated with medical care. You cant help it if you apendix explodes, it just does. Same thing with individuals with bipolar. They cannot control the fact that their brain doesnt produce or over produces Monamies, which are basically neurtransmitters that help the brain function such as dopamine or norephrine. These individuals are given drugs to help them function.. It is no different then a apendix being removed, but often so much sterotype surrounds mental health disorders and it makes me cleary ANGRY..

As I mentioned he is kind of in a financial mess.. He is a couple months late on his house payment as well as his car payment. God extends me mercy all the time.. In this situation, I am not sure what my role is or how I should help. .I know that I screw up all the time and God extends me mercy, but I dont have all the means to pull him out of this mess either..I know he hasnt made the best decisions, but I know I havent all the time either.. I remember a pastor once saying.. Treat people the way you want God to treat you.. I would want God to extend mercy to me.. How do I extend Mercy and Grace in a loving way, that provides his needs?

On another note.. Possible hurricanes are expected to maybe hit Flordia.. It is too early for weather forecasters to be 100% sure, but it is a possibility.. We really need this Disney trip.. I am praying that it will disappear or it will after we go... prayers are appreciate on all levels for my family..

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

The passing

Today Aunt Mary passed at 10:10am. Her loving family stood beside her as she entered the gates of heaven. While, this is a difficult time for my mom's side of the family,I know that we are all at peace about it. Her 2 year battle with lung cancer has finally ended...

Monday, August 4, 2008

My heart is all over the world today..

My heart has been all over the place lately. I have found myself thinking so much about the children in Africa. I hear their cries in my dreams and I find myself longing to return to the place where I felt love was so desperately needed. I thought going over there would "cure" my need to feel that I was doing something over there, but instead, it highlighted why I need to return there.

I feel that I cannot move on with my life. I am moving on with my life and doing other things, but it sits at the back of my mind every night. Emotionally, I have not been able to be here in America. I have seen so much poverty and famine that I cannot move on with life in my head. The urge to jump on a plane and go back hasn't left me. Most people have moved on with their life and have forgotten about the sights and sounds, but I havent.. I have a feeling that it hasnt gone away for a purpose. That purpose I am unsure of right now...

I get so frustrated when I hear people griping and complainning about trival things. I don't want to bring judgment or say that I am any better, but I have seen this different world where I had never heard a complaint.. It is just weird. .It is weird to be apart of a different society where life is so different and then to be thrown back here.. I dont know.. My head has a time sorting out all of the frustration I feel..

I feel like I have been lacking passion lately. The only inspiration for my degree is to know that I am going to use it.. People always tell me that poverty and famine is here in the United States and while I know it is here.. I just cant get over the poverty in Africa... It is hard to explain because people feel like we should be taking care of our own country, which I am all for, but people here are selfish and out for themselves and not the benefit of others.. I dont know..

I have this conversation in my head telling myself to get through the day and not think about what is going on there, but often I find my mind wandering to what the people are doing and how they are surviving. It has gotten bad.. UGH... I need a fix.... sighs.. That is all for this post folks..